Just Jo!

Today started pleasantly enough. Olivia woke me with a cup of tea and we snuggled in bed to read a few more chapters of Our Island Story (ooh, that King John, what a scamp eh?!)
We came downstairs and decided to finish a withy and tissue paper star that we’d started….um….er….last January…. ahem…. We had three more points to do, it takes two of us, one to hold the paper in place, the other to cut it so we get the right size triangle. It started getting a bit glue-y, so we took a break to let it dry a bit. I went to wash my hair and gave Olivia some worksheets to do on ‘time’….
She has a very dodgy relationship with time, and immediately started wailing, “But I don’t like time!!!”
I am well aware she doesn’t like it. Which is why I gave her the really easy ones. Simply converting to and from a 24 hour clock.
I went off to the bathroom, leaving her muttering behind me, “I don’t like time….”
“Shut up! It’s easy! You’ve just got to add or take away 12. That’s it!”
Not more than a minute later, banging on the door, “I’m stuck! I can’t do it! It’s TOO HARD!!”
“What is?”
“Every time I try adding 12 to 4 I end up with 5 past 4!”
For the love of….give me strength….
“What is 4 and 12?”
“16.”
“So, how the bl….(must not swear, must not swear…) so, how, sweetie, light of my life, have you ended up with 5 past 4??”
More wailing, “I DON’T KNOW!!”
Explained it all again, “You. Add. 12. To. The. Hour.”
All was then quiet. Adam had come down by this time to ‘check emails’.
When I’d come out of the bathroom, Olivia had finished her worksheets, “Adam said they’re all right. But he said to put pm after the 16.”
“No. That’s the whole point of 24 hour clocks, you already *know* it’s in the afternoon or evening.”
And Adam’s ‘checking emails’ consisted of Bebo (and lots of scantily clad girls) and Fantasy Football League. That’s teenage boys for you….sex and football.
It seems like I’ve been doing a lot of ‘rolling eyes’ lately…. that’s probably because….oh yes…. I bloody well have been!!!
And just to give you a snapshot of the area we live….
We popped out in the afternoon to get bread and rolls for lunch….
A Lidl’s trolley abandoned on the pavement in front of our garden.
A car roared past, windows down, music blaring.
Two girls standing at the corner of our garden, screaming,”Like your car mate!!”
Further down the road, huge amount of dog turd, not blaming the dog, blaming the owner who obviously dragged the dog along, thus spreading dog turd over even greater distance.
Bit further on, three girls arguing, then one of the girls grabbed another by the hair, almost pulling her to the ground, before screaming, “Yeah, just you try getting away!”
At the end of the road, burnt out and abandoned wheelie bin.
Salubrious, ain’t it?!
“Quick! Run home! Lock the door! Close the curtains! Open the wine! Bugger! It’s too early!”
Spent the rest of the afternoon looking at my watch, “No, it’s still too early! What time does ‘cocktail hour’ start anyway?!”
In between the clock watching, we finished the star.

(Apologies for blurriness!)

Olivia finished another worksheet on 24 hour times.
“It’s much easier now you’ve explained it!”
Hang on, let me just rewind time a minute….yep, I did explain it at the very beginning. I am not cracking up….not just yet anyway….
She also did a ‘naming continents’ worksheet and a ‘prefixes’ worksheet.
We had another stab at completing an Usborne skeleton that we started last….ahem….summer. The skull is almost finished now.

“Alas! poor Yorick, I knew him Horatio….”

I actually had to look up this quote!!! Would have been a darn sight easier if I hadn’t got me MacBeth mixed up with me Hamlet!
And getting this last lot of photo’s up…..what a blinking palaver!!!!
I kept putting in the sim card and nothing was happening. Not a sausage. I ended up having to turn off the computer completely and restarting! Which is why half the photos are so blurry, I can’t be arsed to sort out the good ones!
Olivia has been chucked in the bath, “But I’m sort of going off the idea of baths….”
“Get in!!!” Autonomy only goes so far!!
Stupid Question Of The Day (x2)
While looking at Wikipedia, the MLK entry,
“Is tomorrow Martin Luther King Day then?” (How much have we been talking about it over the last week?!)
And falling in a heap at the bottom of the stairs,
“Where’s the mistletoe?!” (stupid because it came down on Jan 3rd after she, herself, noticed it was dropping all it’s leaves and berries!)

!!!WARNING!!!
Adult humour coming up!
Because I very much need it!
Thanks to Prydwen!

A college Professor was giving a lecture on ‘Involuntary Muscular Contractions’ to his first year medical students.
Realising that this was not the most riveting subject, the Professor decided to lighten the mood slightly.
He pointed to a young woman in the front row and said, “Do you know what your arsehole is doing while you’re having an orgasm?”

She replied, “Probably out drinking beer with his mates.”

I am now going to put pics on Olivia’s blog so she can write around them when she gets out of the bath. Then the plan is for me to see how long exactly it takes me to finish a bottle of wine….
Oooh! No, I can’t!! Amazon are coming early tomorrow!!! With my new DVD player!!!!
WOO HOO!!!!
Must make sure I’m up extra, extra early so I don’t miss the delivery!!!!!