Maths and Beavers
I managed to stay awake through all of Spirited Away last night. I was right (and everyone who recommended it!), despite falling asleep on previous occasions, it is a lovely film. Olivia still prefers Howl’s Moving Castle though.
Threw Olivia into her pit after so that I could have a Blackberry Bath Bomb, ooh, forgot to mention that Saturday was a Bathos night. 
That brings me up to today….
This morning, it suddenly struck me that Olivia is home-educated (gosh!), so it may, perhaps, be a good idea to actually open the odd workbook every now and then. So that’s what she did….english, maths and science. She’s getting a bit bored with just fractions at the moment, so in addition (see that maths terminology there!) to that one, she picked out another maths workbook to do as well.
In between explaining things to her, I ‘putered a bit more….admittedly, I was looking for funnies, but I found something educational quite by accident! 
“Child! Stop doing that maths! Do this maths instead!”
She got out graph paper, pencils, scissors….
It kept us both quiet and pondering for longer than I care to admit….me not being a mathmetician….
Wha…? How?!
Answers on a postcard please!
Then Olivia asked what was for dinner. I looked in the cupboard…. “Um…”
As I couldn’t convince her that, as long as you’ve got water, you can actually survive without food much longer than you’d think, we had to go into town. 
I opened the door, it was raining, “Aha!” I thought, “That’ll be why we haven’t been able to prise Maisy from the back of the chair all morning.” Cats, generally, not being nearly as stoopid as dogs….
We got the bus, I thought it’d be safer. With all the coughing and sneezing fits I’m having, I’d either fall off my bike or crash into something.
We only really went in for food, but made a detour to see if Art of Knitting was in Smiths yet. It’s not, but Olivia got distracted by a display of cute and cuddly beavers….
Now, I can be honest with myself and hold my hands up to the fact that I can be a little immature and smutty at times….But….???
The display had cards of said beavers with slogans such as ‘Nice Beaver’, ‘Wet Beaver’, ‘Hairy Beaver’ and ‘Brazilian Beaver’…
“What??!!” says I, “They can’t do that! That’s so rude!!”
“What?”
“They can’t say that!”
“Why?”
“Because it’s ruude!”
“Why?”
(This was the point that my ‘Small Child Alert’ button went off)
“Because….because…..Aha! Because of the implication!”
“The what?!”
“Exactly!” I said, hoping to confuse her into silence (It’s never worked yet, but I live in hope!)
“Ahhh! Look at this one!” Olivia held up one of the cuddly beavers, “It’s got a little sign. It says, ‘If you can read this, you’re too close to my beaver’ That’s so cute!”
“B****y not!” says I spluttering, as I drag her out of Smiths.
“But why’s it rude?”
“One day, I promise, I will mature enough to be able to explain ‘things’ to you without giggling. Promise. Cross my heart. Now, what d’you want for dinner?”
She’s playing with a calculator now, while I think about cooking dinner. I know we have food, ‘cos I just bought some….
I have to admit that I not at mature and still giggle at anything even slightly smutty.
Glad you liked the film :0)
Comment by Amanda — February 13, 2007 @ 6:19 pm
Do you know how soooooooo funny you are? And the wondrous darling Olivia child too of course. We will have to try the graph paper thing tonight. After our game, which of course, after reading your today’s post will have to be “Gone Bush”. It’s true, honest. All will be revealed. Well, not that sort of all. Jeepers, this has degenerated even further. Byeeee.
E
xx
Comment by Eleanor — February 13, 2007 @ 6:57 pm
Lol, we saw said beavers in a shop a while ago and am so glad that my daughter is now old enough to get the outrage/humour without me explaining. We both walked away giggling like silly girls when some people were saying how cute they all were. Only thing was had to explain to my naive 26yr old brother. *insert red face here* lol
Michelle
Comment by Michelle — February 14, 2007 @ 1:03 pm
‘Gone Bush’?? The mind boggles!!
I am not a happy bunny at the moment, George is not playing fair, George being my ‘puter. He went bang this mornng, more of a whimper really, so I’m waiting for Mr PC World to come and fix him.
I’m at the library now, and I can’t log in to write me proper blog.
Obviously though, it means I will have plenty of time to think of wonderfully witty words to write.
Normal service will be resumed as soon as PC World pulls it’s finger out!
Comment by Jo — February 14, 2007 @ 2:56 pm
I’ll have to keep checking comments to get my daily fix of blogging.
Cold’s nearly better already though.
Since we’ve been vegan, germs and things don’t tend to hang around for long.
Result!!
Off to find things on Valentine’s Day.
Comment by Jo — February 14, 2007 @ 3:03 pm
Aha!!
I’ve found where to log in! I had to scroll all the way down….but curses! I can’t remember my username and password!!
Comment by Jo — February 14, 2007 @ 3:11 pm
Hello Michelle!
I was so gobsmacked about the beavers, I had to go and see them again yesterday! And they’re still rude!! And I’m still childish!!
Comment by Jo — February 16, 2007 @ 6:43 pm