Sweaty Betty….
….followed not long after by Chilly Willy….but I will explain all later. 
This morning was general workbook stuff for Olivia and working out dates for booking activities at the outdoor centre for me. I considered phoning the centre before going down there, but didn’t bother. There’s always someone there. 
Adam’s ‘friend’ stayed the night. I only found out because Olivia is a very ‘observant’ little sister. “Adam’s got a girl in his room!!”
“What? Another one??”
Fortunately, I said it quietly and she didn’t hear me. 
Then found out that Adam had texted me last night to ask if it was OK for her to stay. But I’d left my phone downstairs, and just hadn’t got the message.
We only got a glimpse of the back of her head as she disappeared through the front door…. “Well, she seemed nice,” said Olivia….
Had lunch, finished the chocolate cake, felt sick because it’s a rich chocolate cake, went for a bike ride….yeah, that’s always a good plan.
Cycled along the river in a glorious haze of sunshine (the Sweaty Betty bit). Heard a bell along the cycle path, thought it was Olivia, dinged back at her, then a bloke in very tight cycling shorts, whizzed past me. “Hello!” he said, “Ooh!” I said….didn’t get a look at his face….
Got to the outdoor centre, saw a very nice man sanding down a boat (or something….), asked him if we could book up our groups activities….should have phoned.
The secretary, who usually works all day, every day, had today off.
The very nice man (he was a very nice man….must control myself) was all smiley and apologetic about the secretary not being there, like it was his fault. “No, no, it’s OK, we’ve had a nice bike ride anyway!” Yeah, I’ll phone on Monday morning before we go….to see if the nice man’s there again….NO! To see if the secretary is there, so I can book everything.
Cycled over the river….then pushed our bikes up the hill into town. We were Sweaty Betty’s!
First stop was the library, only 56p fine today. Honestly, it’s ridiculous, I can renew online now I’ve got a ‘puter, but we have more late fines than we ever did before. I blame Olivia.
My books this week are an eclectic mix….The World’s Stupidest Husbands, Jacobean Whodunnits and Daughters of the Grail. You can bet there’ll be some snippets from the Stupid Husbands coming up!
Olivia got The Day of the Triffids and Young Dracula & Young Monsters. Why??? She is the wimpiest child ever when it comes to anything remotely connected to horror. She struggled through I Know What You Did Last Wednesday, because someone got murdered by electronics.
Although she did like Vampirates….maybe she’s starting to toughen up. I’ll sit her through Evil Dead, see how she gets on with that.
After the library, it was another trip to the museum. Yes, another one! Time’s getting on now, it’s looking like it’ll be closing in June or July. What will we do during the refurbishment?! 
Today was two of the World Culture worksheets, which earned her two packs of cards. Frustratingly, she still needs just the one card. Gnnnhh!!
There was also a Red Nose Trail going on, you had to find all the red noses throughout the museum. Poor old Gerald!! No dignity whatsoever!
Cycled home via Lisa’s. Olivia dropped R’s snake home (forgot to return the video, sorry!), I had a cuppa and chat. I won’t mention Lisa’s attire, I’ll leave her some dignity, a little more than Gerald anyway!
By the time we left the sun had gone down. Yeah, that’s the Chilly Willy bit. What were you expecting?! I’m shocked!
Left-over pie and chips for dinner. My mum phoned halfway through. She wanted some advice. She’s getting all arty, and wanted some advice on glass painting. I’ve painted lots of lanterns for her in the past and she wanted to know how to do it. They’ve got some new outdoor lights and she wants to paint them to match the lanterns. “But you can’t! They’re copyrighted! It’ll cost you at least £50 to copy them!”
“Shut up! How d’you do it?!”
Well, I tried!
I told her about Adam’s ‘guest’ last night…. “Let me talk to him!”
Ha ha!! Dropped him in it! Trouble is, he can wrap her round his little finger, he just grins (bit hard over the phone admittedly), and all is forgiven.
What else? Ooh! The washing machine! I’ve mentioned somewhere, to someone, that it’s been playing up. Not draining properly, so the washing is dripping when it comes out. And to be honest, I can’t be arsed to pull it out and have a look at the filter. So I haven’t. A wash had just finished as we were leaving to book up (or not) activities, and I just left it. Again, couldn’t be arsed to sort out dripping washing. When we got home, I thought I’d best get it out and hang it up. And, oh!, what a pleasant surprise! No dripping washing! Either it’s sorted itself out, or, something else far more serious (and costly!) has gone wrong with it. But everything was cleaner, except my cardigan that I’d worn to the collage workshop. The one with Anthony Frost. My favourite cardigan. With paint on the sleeve. That didn’t come out.
I’ll just have to consider it a memento of my ‘brush’ with professional artistry….
So that’s today….my favourite bits so far in The World’s Stupidest Husbands….
The Warning
David, a senior citizen, was driving round the M25 towards Heathrow when his mobile phone rang.
When he answered it, he heard his wife urgently warning him, “David, I just heard on the news that there’s a car going the wrong way down the M25. So please be careful!”
“Hell,” said David, “It’s not just one… there are dozens of them!”
“I Told You…”
An angry husband returned home one night to find his wife in bed with a naked man.
“What are you doing?” he shouted.
To which his wife said to her lover, “There! I told you he was stupid.”
“Blow In This, Sir”
A stupid husband was trying to convince his wife that he was sober enough to drive. So he drove to the police station in his pickup truck, parked illegally, and demanded a breathalyzer test. He failed and was taken into custody.
“Basically,” an amused police sergeant explained, “his wife won the argument.”
I have the book for three weeks at least….bear with me!! 
