Just Jo!

….early this morning. Well, fresh air at 9am is very early for us.
Don’t quite know what came over me. So Olivia has had to make me lots of cuppas today while I try and recover from the horror that is early mornings.
I got my oats….for flapjack making….what on earth were you thinking??
But we didn’t make them straight away. Olivia wanted to get going on making a circuit following on from yesterday’s science workbook. She wanted to do it then, but it was gone 6 by the time she’d decided that’s what she wanted. Me, in my wisdom, said that it was too late for faffing around with batteries and wires, so distracted her with making scones. ‘Cos that is so much less faffing….
Back to circuits, she made one. One that she has made on previous occasions too numerous to mention. One that she is still shocked by when the light lights up….
Added a switch to it today as well. She found out on a practical level that plastic coated paper clips do not make the best of switches. So she spent a very patient half hour stripping the plastic off….there is now a light dusting of white plastic shavings over the carpet….looks quite pretty, in a snowy dandruff kind of way….

She’s also very nearly finished her maths book. At one point actually needing to use her toes for additional digits….I promised her I wouldn’t take a photo, but I couldn’t resist….I also promised her I wouldn’t blog it….but if I did, I wouldn’t mention the fact she’s counting on her toes….oops….

We went into the bus timetable thingy from yesterday in much more detail. She wrote down all the trips for April, then wrote out all the bus times, including any connections….which she didn’t do yesterday. It took her about an hour, looking things up in the A-Z, working out which bus stop we’d be needing, finding out what time the bus comes home again, making sure there’s no chance of us missing the last bus home. Because I really don’t fancy spending the night in a bus shelter….

After I’d double-checked everything, I told her she’d have to keep it safe somewhere, unless she wants to spend another hour working it all out again. She doesn’t. So it’s safe. In the middle of the floor. So everyone can see it. Which is not quite what I had in mind….
Had a look at the Gaelic website that Eleanor sent us, via Lin, because I’m slack and hadn’t got round to sending my email address to Eleanor.
It seems to be a Scottish Gaelic site though, which I know is different, but I’m not sure if the pronunciation is different too. So we’ll be quizzing Nan for her expert opinion.
Olivia’s expanded on the menu for next weeks Biblical feast, and we spent a looooonnnggg time trying to find a recipe for bread. We found a recipe for leaven, but that meant leaving things to ferment for a few days….which seemed like way too much faffing around (I have a very low ‘faffing around’ tolerance), so we gave up. We’ll be using pitta bread instead.
Made the flapjacks….

Wrote a poem for English. But I’ve not read it yet, so I have no idea if she will indeed be the next Laureate….or not, as the case may be.
She has also decided that she wants to start her own club on Wednesdays. So she’s been busy in spare moments writing up application forms, membership cards, spare membership cards (because, apparently, “everyone loses membership cards”)….
I asked her what she’s planning on doing in her club…. “Have meetings.”
“For what?”
“To talk.”
“About what?”
“What we want to do.”
I obviously looked like I wasn’t taking her seriously, because she stuck her tongue out at me then.
I did point out that it wouldn’t be fair to leave anyone out, “Yes, I know! That’s why I’ve made lots of forms for everyone!” And waved half a forest at me to prove her point.
Then I muddied the waters by asking if she’s got a ‘constitution’ yet.
“A what??!!”
So, after a quick explanation, writing it kept her quiet long enough for me to make a tomato tart, with herby potatoes and onion, all on my lonesome.
I’m feeling all sensible at the moment, most unlike me, I must be ailing from something….soon remedy that….

Navy Retirement

The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for early retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body. The officers got to choose what those two points would be.

The first officer who accepted, asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.

The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with $96,000.

The third one was a grizzly old Captain who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, “From the tip of my penis to my testicles.” It was suggested by the pension man that he may want to reconsider, explaining about the nice checks the previous two officers had received. But the old Captain insisted and they decided to go along with him, providing the measurement was taken by a medical officer.

The medical officer arrived and instructed the Captain to “drop em”, which he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Captain’s penis and began to work back. “My God!” he suddenly exclaimed, “Where are your testicles?” The Captain calmly replied…”In Vietnam.”

Hee hee!
And on that note….dinner is smelling b****y lovely, so I’m going to eat more than my fair share, then we’re off out for the evening. I’d like to say it’ll be a civilised passeggiata, but I can’t. Too cold for a start…. We’re popping round to our friend’s for a chat….there might possibly be a glass of wine involved….I could be wrong….sincerely hope not though….