Just Jo!

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….and neglecting my blog.

Wednesday was group day, so all fairly normal there. Apart from the rippling muscles on display, but I digress….
I handed over the cheque for the outdoor activities and had apologies from the absentees on Monday. One of the teenagers asked me to do a henna pattern on her, which I very skillfully managed to delegate to others to take care of.
Well, it was getting late and we had things to do. Like Olivia’s community garden bed. And a bit of shopping, flipflops for me, almond oil for Olivia. Got the oil (will explain later), but no flipflops.
Photos of Olivia’s bed, as in community garden bed, not her actual bed. That would be too awful to contemplate….

Seems a bit overgrown, but she wanted to keep lots of the wild flowers growing there.
Drama as usual, then home to bed.

Yesterday was lazing around the garden. I did, Olivia had work to do, of the educational workbook variety. But at least she got to do it all out in the fresh air. Wearing her new swimsuit. Like you do.

I did do some washing and a bit of tidying up, I also managed to cram some reading into my hectic schedule. Then we took a gentle stroll along the river to meet up with some of Olivia’s guide pack for a swimming session.
Look what we saw….
A river. Fancy that. All wet it was….

We saw a heron too….

Ooh!! Looky!! Sweeeeeeet!!!

So sweet and cute, they nearly made us late for meeting everyone. All three of them, plus two guiders. Lisa and I ran away quickly, dragging R with us round T.K.Maxx. I bought six side plates, a huge great serving plate and a muffin tin.
We had to pick the girls up again at half six….
So all six of us descended on Subway for nourishment. Then wended our weary way home.
Adam came home later, I gleefully showed him my new plates.
“They’re ugly!”
“They’re not!”
“They’re probably the ugliest plates I have ever seen in my life!”
“They’re not”
“They look all old and Victorian. Ugly”
“Bohemian.”
“Ugly!”
“Bohemian!”
“Ugly!”
“Bohemian!”
Methinks he wasn’t too keen on them.
He then proceeded to show me some defensive moves he’s learnt in his new kickboxing thingy on a Wednesday night. He asked me to try strangling him…. so, so tempting!
He then even invited me along.
“You should come. It’s mental. It’s ‘bring a buddy week’ soon. You should come.”
“I’m your buddy am I?!”
“No! But you should come anyway.”

We have spent the whole day today with Di. She was showing Olivia how to make an elderflower face and body cream. It usually takes a few days to make, but Di showed Olivia a cold compress way that is much quicker. We met at the community centre to pinch pick some elderflowers.

After picking enough flowers, we went to Di’s house. Olivia giddy with excitement because she found a fiver on the pavement. Di introduced us to the blackbird chicks nesting in the back garden.

We had lunch, which may possibly have involved tasting some home-made elderflower wine. Di thought it tasted a bit like sake, and as she happened to have a bottle, we did a comparison tasting. Relax, it was only a sip. Enough to say, “Nope, completely different.” Then we had to taste some home-made blackberry and apple wine. Just to compare.
It was all very low alcohol, and very, very nice.
So on with the actual task of making elderflower cream (which is why Olivia needed the almond oil)….
A lesson in photos….
(It contains a tiny amount of beeswax, so not strictly vegan.)

After it had been poured into jars, we had to wait for it to set. Olivia kept herself busy with flower arranging.

We said our goodbyes, Olivia acquiring an old scooter that Tavis had picked up from somewhere else. We walked into town (I walked, she scootered), I got my flipflops…. two pairs!! Olivia was desperate to spend her fiver, so Hawkins Bazaar it was. She got herself a mini bedlam cube. Very, very frustrated with it already.
“Can I take it back and get my money back?”
“No.”
“Why not???”
“Because it’s not back in the box!”
“But they can do that in the shop!”
“No!”
Not a happy bunny.

And before I forget, I saw this on Prydwen yesterday……
Very creepy!

David Blaine - this is great*

This is creepy!

* *

*Think of a letter between A and W. (now scroll down the page)*

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*Repeat it out loud as you scroll down.

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*Keep going ………………………. .*

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*Don’t stop . . .*

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*Think of an animal that begins with that letter.*

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*Repeat it out loud as you scroll down.*

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*Think of either a man’s/woman’s name that begins with the last
letter in the animals name.*

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*Almost there……..*

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*Now count out the letters in that name on the fingers of the
hand you are not using to scroll down.*
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*Take the hand you counted with and hold it out in front of you at
face level*
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*Look at your palm very closely and notice the lines in your hand*

*
*Do the lines take the form of the first letter in the persons name?

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*Of course they b****y dont…….*

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*Now use your outstretched hand to smack yourself on the head, get a
life, and quit playing stupid e-mail games!

I had another candle lit bath last night. When I was all cleansed and pure again, I had great fun tipping the melted wax into the bath to look at the swirly patterns it made on cooling. Hmmm…. yeah…. next time I do that, I’ll wait ’til after I get out of the bath…. I spent an interesting time extracting wax out of places you really don’t want to know about! Let’s just say, it brings a whole new meaning to a ‘bikini wax’….
Yes…. um…. er…. that is probably a little bit more information than I’m truly comfortable sharing. And probably waaaay more than you really wanted to know….

So…. today…. yes…. this morning Olivia spent reading and keyboarding. She also read quite a bit of her RSPB magazine that she gets from our home ed group. I was Flickr-ing like mad…. my new obssession….
Then we walked over to Di’s. It was far too windy and blustery to cycle. We could have, but my hair’s too long and it whips round all over the place in the wind. I’d be blinded and crash into something. Not pleasant. I could have tied it back, but I didn’t think of that ’til we got to Di’s.
Di’s got a pond in her garden, but it’s not holding water in the marshy area very well, so that got sorted out.
But Olivia had to take a few photos first. I reallyreallyreally want a new camera. Olivia reallyreallyreally wants my old one.
“You can have it, love!”
The battery casing’s all cracked and you have to hold it all together to get a photo. What a palaver….
Olivia’s photos….

She was very pleased with herself….
“See? I can work it! It’s not a problem at all!”
“You have work to do…. Get on with it!”
So she did.
Di had some cobble stones that they lined most of the marshy area with….

Then they mixed up some soil and clay to add to the middle bit to plant some plants in (How was that for a clunky sentence?!)….

Then it needed filling with water….

An old friend of Di’s came round with a new friend of his, so we chatted and drank tea, then all wandered round to Di’s allotment. Olivia picked lots more broad beans and we had a look at one of the other allotments. Di’s is more a wild plant haven that she uses for her herbalism and edible wild plants, John’s is ‘proper allotmenting’. All laid out in rows, which Di doesn’t do at all. We talked to John last week and he said to feel free to have a look. Di wanted Olivia to just see a different way of gardening, a more formal way, not Di’s free and easy, hippy-like way.
By this time it was raining, we said our goodbyes to everyone and headed up to the High Street. I was wearing flipflops. They slip in the rain (’specially in the High Street), so I took them off. Olivia was again outraged that I would dare do such a thing.
I put them on again to get some shopping, then took them off again to walk on the pavement. If I kept them on, it would have taken me an hour to walk up the High Street. I also walked most of the way home barefoot….
“Please Mum! Put them on! It’s so embarrassing!”
“But I keep slipping on them!”
“That doesn’t matter!”
“So me slipping over, breaking an ankle and landing flat on my arse is less embarrassing than me walking barefoot?”
“YES!!”
“Grotty urchin!”
“You’re so embarrassing!!”
“Aaahh! My work here is done!”
I put them on when I trod on a bit of glass that then got stuck in my heel.
“Thank you, Mother!”
So I took ‘em off again!

I had an early bath tonight so that I wouldn’t need candles. Still too traumatised and humiliated to look a candle in the eye at the moment….

I was up bright and early, with Olivia getting up not long after. All by herself, I didn’t have to drag her out of her pit at all. Woah! I thought, an excellent day ahead of us.
We both had baths before we left at half nine. We didn’t wash the wonderfully fragrant smoke out of our hair and every single pore of skin last night because the bulb had gone in the bathroom. We have no replacements, couldn’t even have a candle lit bath as the lighter was emptied by a certain arsonist yesterday.
We got to town in plenty of time for Olivia’s morning art club, so we took back library books. Late library books. Very late library books. £9.04.
Now we have a clean slate, we got some more out. More wildlife and pond type books for Olivia’s current obssession.
I walked Olivia round to the arts centre and palmed her off handed her over to Hannah who was running the club. I scarpered off quick to fill my bag with goodies from Holland and Barrett, then strolled over to the Cathedral Green to eat it all in one sitting.
Had time for a cuppa at the cafe bar while waiting for Olivia to finish. She had a lovely time, making collages of textured paper and then using them to make prints.
Things then started to go awry….
I got a sudden very gurgly tummy….no, I hadn’t rushed my food at all!
It seemed to get better, so we went to meet some friends in a beer garden with the requisite bouncy castle. Olivia got very hot and sweaty on the castle, then I started gurgling a bit again and feeling uncomfortable, so I said we’d be going soon. Olivia started moaning about it. And whinging. And whining. And moaning that it wasn’t fair….
After almost 11 years, you’d think she’d have learnt by now that moaning, whinging and whining is the least likely behaviour to get me onside. I had actually started feeling better by then, but she couldn’t stop with the whinging…. So we left…. So she cried….
She was somewhat subued as we did a bit of shopping, still subdued and grumpy by the time we got home.
Then I had the outrageous nerve to actually ask her to do something…. it all sort of kicked off then. Not just whinging and whining, oh no! This was proper wailing and stomping of feet. More behaviour that is more than likely to irk me. She wanted to have some lunch, I said as soon as she’d finished what I’d asked her to do. And what was the awful thing I’d asked her to do? Find a book. Find a book. Just the one.
Alas, she didn’t pick up the warning signs, warning signs as in “If you carry on, you’ll be going straight to bed….”
She carried on. She went to bed. Stomping upstairs wailing like a banshee. She was asleep in ten minutes.
Think she might possibly have been tired. She’s doesn’t handle being tired very well.
It also meant I got the rest of the afternoon off. Yeehah!! I sat and read. The whole entire time. The pile of ironing kept winking at me, but I turned my back and totally ignored it.
I went up to see how she was about fiveish, see if she was still hungry. She woke, stretched and came downstairs to water the garden while I cooked dinner.

I saw this on Merry’s and Debbie’s. I’m supposedly very health conscious, which made me laugh, and then choke, as I polished off two thirds of a treacle tart. Gurgly tummy’s all better now.

I am an Echinacea What Flower Are You?

Olivia is feeling much more like herself, even saying just now, “I think that little nap did me good!”
Hmmm, yeah….me too! She’s still going to bed now though.
And she’s OK with it! So she’s happy again, I’m happy again and the day has ended as easily as it began. Peace is resumed at last.

Adam ate all the bread on Thursday night, so I had to disturb his beauty sleep yesterday morning and order him to the corner shop for more. If I want toast, by golly, I shall have toast!
The museum was the first port of call for Olivia to do a clocks and time worksheet quiz thingy (and get more trading cards). Then after lunch from Holland and Barretts, we went to the community centre to do a Magical Clocks workshop (See the neat tie-in there? Clocks quiz, clocks workshop. I am soooo good!) We made fantasy clocks, Olivia’s being a cat and mine a flower.

Lin and the boys appeared too. Olivia had finished her clock, but due to liberal amounts of glue being used, we were still waiting for it to dry. So it meant she got to distract M from his clock.

They were far more interested in the trading cards. Because the workshop was part of the museum’s halfterm activities, they got yet another pack each.
We took M home with us, while Lin and J finished their masterpieces.
We still had Lin’s milk from the day before, so I could say “Come round to mine for a cuppa,” secure in the knowledge that we did indeed have milk for non-vegans. And we’ve still got it! Anyone else want a cuppa on Lin? Quick! Before she asks for her milk back! Or it goes off! Or Adam drinks it!
I got a phonecall that interrupted our tea drinking. Could I babysit? In about an hour? Um, suppose so. After Tuesday night, when I’d had no money for babysitting fees, I’d said, “If you need anyone, I’ll do the same for you….”
Parents going out on a Friday night? Scandalous!
The best thing about babysitting with a 10 year old who is oh so desperate for a little brother or sister? Sitting with your feet up, watching telly (Yes! Me! Watching telly!), “Keep an eye on the baby will you….”

They’d got back by about 10:30, but being merrily influenced by alcohol, we didn’t actually leave ’til gone one.
“C’mon. We’re going home now.”
“Oh why?!” (Stupid Question No.1) And more general moaning in a very loud manner.
“Because it’s quarter past one.”
“Oh….”
Then walking home, “Cor, it’s really quiet. Why’s it so quiet?” (Stupid Question No. 2)
“Because it’s half past one.”
“Oh….”
We got home to a major grump from Adam, “Where have you been? Thanks for telling me! Why didn’t you call me? Thanks for leaving a note. No, I’m not kissing you goodnight! Go away! I’m trying to sleep!”
Needless to say, we slept in this morning….
But Adam woke me up by knocking on my door, “I’m going into town now, then I’m going to watch football, then I’m going back into town and I’ll be home about 11. See? That’s not hard to do is it?!”
Oh, he just had to make his point didn’t he??

I thought about nagging Olivia to do some workbooks. A thought which had a lifespan of….ooh, let’s see now….about ten seconds.
She got on with a crystal mining kit.

(Hair still not brushed at 2:30. )
We got it at the Science Museum last year. It kept her quiet for hours. It may be worth investing in another trip to London purely for the bliss that quietness is.
I was playing Connect 4 online. And losing every single game. So then I sulked. I tried to pester Olivia, but she was having none of it.
“Please, please, PLEASE can I have a go?” I wheedled and wheedled.
“No. Go away!”
I really should learn to leave well alone when she’s being quiet. It always comes back to bite me.

We had three mini blackouts during the day, when the electric went off for literally a millisecond. Olivia was a tad traumatised….
“Woah! What was THAT??? What happened?? That was sooo freaky!! Why did it DO that?? Will it do it again?? You should call the electric people! It’s going to really irritate me if it keeps doing that!! CALL THEM! Find out what’s happening! Are you going to call them??”
“No.”
“WHY NOT??!!”
Yeah, like I said to Adam earlier….

We finally got round to having our chinese meal as part of the New Year festivities. We had crispy duckless pancakes from this book. That’s them on the front cover. Did you see them? Ours never ever ever look like that!
Mix together 1 tablespoon each of soy sauce….

….and blackstrap molasses, and 2 tablespoons of avocado oil. Olivia couldn’t decide whether it looked more like a runny cowpat or the measles medicine from Nanny McPhee.
Add to this fragrant mixture, 1 finely chopped onion, 6 sliced mushrooms and a tin of crumbled mock duck.

(Hair still not brushed at 5pm. )
Stir it ’til it’s well-coated, then spread in a thin layer on an oiled baking sheet. Bake for 20-25 minutes in a pre-heated oven at 180 c/350 f/gas mark 4.
Serve in rice pancakes with spring onions sliced into lengths and cucumber thinly sliced. The recipe also called for sesame seeds, vegan oyster sauce and a lime. But we didn’t have any of that. So we didn’t use them.
The recipe serves four. There’s only two of us. We like crispy duckless pancakes a lot!

Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! I found a joke!

Yeah, this’ll be the adult humour bit. Quite mild compared to some of the others I’ve found. You’ll have to let me know if you want extra, extra rude ones! Believe me, I’ve got a few!!

Face Lift

A man decides to have a face-lift for his birthday. He spends $5,000 and feels really good about the results. On his way home, he stops at a newsstand and buys a paper.

Before leaving, he says to the sales clerk, “I hope you don’t mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?” “About 35,” was the reply. “I’m actually 47,” the man says, feeling really happy. After that, he goes into McDonalds for lunch and asks the clerk the same question. The reply is, “Oh, you look about 29″. “I am actually 47.”

Later, while standing at a bus stop, he asks an old woman the same question. She replies, “I am 85 years old, and my eyesight is going. But when I was young, there was a sure way of telling a man’s age. If I put my hand down your pants and play with your balls for 10 minutes, I will be able to tell you your exact age.”

As there was no one around, the man thinks, What the hell and lets her slip her hand down his pants. Ten minutes later, the old lady says, “Okay, it’s done. You are 47.” Stunned, the man says, “That was brilliant. How did you do that?” The old lady replies, “I was behind you at McDonalds.”

Guess what I’ll be doing when I’m 85?!

We had a pleasant enough evening last night. We finally got round to watching Groundhog Day….two days late, but not a problem. Except, with about half an hour to go, Olivia pipes up, “Eeeww!! She’s still wearing the same clothes!!”
I had explained it to her, honest!

This morning was kind enough to me as well. I didn’t have to drag Olivia, kicking and screaming, out of bed. In fact, she was up before me.
She willingly got on with some english straight after breakfast. I started cutting out the Japanese Golden Eagle. Then had a lovely long chat with my mum.
My stepdad’s been in hospital, not very well at all and quite down about it all. Obviously, that wasn’t a particularly lovely bit, but the rest was. He’s due out today, and my uncle George (his brother) and his wife Phyllis are going over to see them for nine days, so he’s looking forward to that.
After the chat, we went into town….on the bus today, I was feeling extravagant….
We got off the bus….that’s when it started….
First of all, the machine ate my card!
“What? What? What??!!” My card had expired, so it was retained.
“But….but….but….I haven’t got a new one yet! I only have about a fiver to my name!!! Aaagh!!!”
So we dashed into Sainsbury’s, getting essentials like bread, soya milk, cat food and baked beans (they *are* essential!), and rushed home again.
A frantic half hour search did in fact reveal that I had received a replacement card. I’d put it ’somewhere safe’(!!!) and promptly forgot all about it.
Still needing more shopping, and not being able to face a return trip to town, we went to Costcutter’s and spent a fortune getting *my* money from the machine there.

We got home (again!) and Olivia started with some more workbooks, fractions and science….oh my…. She’s not usually given to tantrums or strops, but ******* ****. (I’m not usually given to swearing, but feel free to insert any expletive you care to!) Did she go off on one or what?!
“I hate workbooks! I can’t do this!” Tears! Shouting! Aboutthisclose to throwing the book on the floor!
Then, when she actually *opened* the book, it was a page of decimals, just converting 1/2’s, 1/5’s and 1/10’s to decimals….so easy, even she got embarrassed by how she’d over-reacted.
Then it was a new science workbook, which started by recapping lots of what she already knows about plants and their parts. She’s up to the page on birds now, which nicely ties in with her current obssession….
Coincidentally, we also had a go at finishing the eagle….And what a b****y awkward b****r that was!! Give me Canon any day!! So much easier!! No wonder the b****y bird’s endangered!!
A picture may appear on Olivia’s blog at some point, it really depends on whether I allow it to survive the night. If it continues smirking at me like that, I don’t hold out much hope for it!

And then….while I was beating the bird into submission, Olivia wrote her blog. She saved it. Like she knows how to. Then she published it. Like she knows how to. It took ages. Then disappeared, and a ‘Fatal Error’ message came up…. “WHAT??!!”
Neither of us panicked though. Although I was getting seriously vexed by the entire day at this point!
We kept going back to have a look at it, then sent a quick email to Lin (SOS!), then turned off the computer totally and turned it back on again.
And her blog waved a cheery hello to us….

I’m being incredibly self-restrained and abstemious at the moment, so here’s a joke about a silly drunk….
Harry staggered home very late and very drunk. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife. He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step.
As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his backside. A bottle of beer in a back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful. Managing not to scream out loud, Harry sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see what damage he’d done.
Bleeding from several cuts, he somehow managed to find a first aid kit and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood. He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and stumbled his way into bed.
In the morning, Harry woke up with searing pain in both his head and bottom and his wife staring daggers at him from across the room.
She says, “So, you were staggering drunk last night weren’t you Harry?”
Says Harry, “Now, why would you say such a thing?”
“Well,” she says, “it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly……. it’s all the Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror.”

And it’s a Lush night tonight. I haven’t decided what I’m going to have yet….probably Karma Bubble Bar….I have a *need* for lots of silliness with some bubbles tonight, and as champagne is out, it’ll have to be a bubble bath!

Some funnies from last night.
Stupid Question Of The Day:
Olivia: “D’you think Maisy really loves me ‘cos I always let her smell my food? Not after she’s like, just licked her bum though.”
I asked her to get me paper and pen, “Oh, don’t write it down! You didn’t put anything about me saying thongs last night did you?”
“Ummm…..”
“MUM!!!”
So I’m not sure how long I’ll be allowed to write about her Oliviaism’s before she starts getting a complex!
We had tacos for dinner last night, then when Adam got home from work, we followed it up with some nachos. Nothing like a bit of spice to get rid of the chills. While I was cooking the tacos, Olivia was leaning on me, “I really love your cooking mum, even when it….”
“OK! Stop there!” I had the feeling that what was coming next would be less than complimentary. And I happen to like living in my little candy-coated, fluffy dreamworld!
A snap decision was also made to make it Family Night (we haven’t had one for weeks now).
Adam let Olivia choose which film we watched, so she chose The Lost Boys. It’s always scared her too much before and I pointed this out to her. “Yeah but….I’ve got to get used to it sometime.”…..(Why?!)
Watching it gave rise to lots of discussion about the differences between the Corey’s Haim and Feldman. Feldman being in both The Goonies and Stand By Me (favourites of all of ours), and Keifer Sutherland also being in Stand By Me.
Adam said that he (Keifer) still looks exactly the same now.
I said, “He’s in 24.”
“He’s only 24?!”
“No….he’s *in* 24.” (That’ll be Adam’s slight blonde moment for the week)
Then Adam moaned he didn’t want to watch it anyway. “Well, you did let Olivia choose which film to watch….”
“I’m going to bed.”
Olivia wailing, “But it’s family night!”
“I’m tired!”
“Adam! Mum! Tell him!”
Then it degenerated from there really, Olivia in tears, Adam stomping off upstairs….
The one good thing to come out of it was that we got to watch the film to the point of what is probably one of my mostest favouritest lines in a film, probably ever….
“You’re a Goddamn, s**t-sucking vampire…..oooh….you wait ’til Mom finds out!”
This morning we were up bright and early, I even dragged Olivia out of bed at 20 to 8. She was not best pleased….
We left the house at just gone 10, we were riding our bikes and had plenty of time to get to group. So we stopped at our friends house for a cuppa….we were late….again….
But it was nice to see Lisa and the girls, we haven’t seen them since we had a Hanukkah day back in December.
And, oh joy of joys, on the way to group, I checked my bank on the off-chance, and yippee-aie-aye(!!!), a cheque that I wasn’t expecting to clear ’til next week, cleared today!!!! So I’m not nearly as skint as I thought I was!!
Another meeting about grants at the group, I am now ‘implementing’ the one for an Outdoor Education Centre. I have already warned people that I will be strict, stern and have no faffing around. I wonder if, afterwards, I’ll be asked to do anymore ‘implementing’??!!
While at the arts centre, I got talking to someone who’s daughter has not long started the drama class. We had quite a long chat, mostly about home education. Her daughter is 6, and from the sound of it, very much like Olivia at that age. She was very interested in home-ed because she couldn’t quite see a place where her daughter would fit in at school. Yeah, nodded me sagely, that’s exactly why I took Olivia out before any problems could begin! She may very well be a convert after a few more chats.
After she’d gone, Lin came by with the boys. Bit of a palaver with being moved from one table to another due to some kind of dinner/movie deal going on, and the whole dining area being booked. So we ended up down the road at a real proper bar. Lin left her mobile number, just in case any of our kids happened to lose or break a limb in the hour we were gone. They managed to survive intact.
I’m getting lots more confident on my bike now, but still panicked when riding home and had to contend with two lots of joggers heading toward me!! Not good!
Lin and boys got the bus back, although M really wanted to walk with us. No, he would have had to trot along behind us!
We met them on the way home and they came back to ours for a bit. Olivia’s finally got her moon phase thing thanks to Lin.
Although I have bus fare now, we’re still biking tomorrow, because it’s too awkward and too many buses to get to where we’re going tomorrow. It’s a secret! Be patient!
So I’m getting in the bath and going to bed now.
Night John-Boy.
Night Jim-Bob.
Night Ma.
Night Pa.

Monday, Monday, Monday….

I’m sure I was supposed to do something today, but I can’t for the life of me think what it was….can’t have been that important then….so, moving on….

Adam had to write an assignment last night that was due in today….nothing like leaving it ’til the last minute eh? He tried printing it, but we’re out of blue and yellow ink….so he started panicking. More precisely, he was having a go at *me* for daring to actually use the printer myself! "Why d’you keep using it? What d’you need it for? You just keep wasting ink!!!" I had to remind him that it’s *my* computer and *I* buy all the ink and paper for it anyway, so "Bugger off!"

Then, complete genius that I am, I suggested that he put an attachment in an email, then pick it up at college this morning. I think I astounded the pair of us. "Well done Mum! Thumbs up to you! You’re not completely stupid after all!" I let the side down a bit when I asked "So, how d’you actually add an attachment then?"….

After a morning in which nothing much (apart from a few pages of fractions) was achieved we went into town. I got some more ink. I couldn’t remember which colour, so got blue and pink.

On the way home, we stopped off at Lidl’s to stock up on lots of cheap freezer veg. Except today was the day they were having loads of new freezer’s delivered. So there was no cheap freezer veg. At all. So I bought cheap wine instead.

A few days ago, Olivia, doing her usual prancing around, managed (with her hairbrush) to crack a picture frame in the bathroom. One of my favourite prints of Buddha. He’s winking at you. While you’re sat having a wee.

Anyways, not best pleased, I said she’d have to pay for a new one. We got one in Poundland. We got it home. We had it at home for about half an hour. She managed to break it before we even got it out of the bag. She will be buying a new one tomorrow. Again!

Then I realised I’d got the wrong ink, so had to phone Adam to make sure he was coming home before going to work later. So I could give him the money to buy more ink. He works at the big Tesco’s near PC World. Bit worried ‘cos he phoned asking what kind of printer we have, me being the technical boffin I am said, "It’s the ink with a cheetah on the front."

"Yeah, but what’s the printer? ‘Cos they’ve only got black in that."

"Epson."

"What make?"

"Epson."

"Mother!!!"

Fortunately the number’s right on the top of the printer, so even I got it eventually. Hope he’s got the right one, but he’s not back ’til about nine, so I’ll have to wait patiently ’til then. Which is something I’m not very good at to be honest. I want ink and I want it now!! 

Olivia’s doing some more of her English workbook (story-writing skills), and then she’s cooking dinner again tonight. She wants to make sausages. We have three packs of Burgermix, but none of Sosmix. How did that happen? That’ll be me going into town with no list again…. "I know we need a mix. We always have Sosmix at home, so I’ll get Burger instead…." I think she’s going to be rebellious and make sausages with it anyway.

Oooh, these home-educated kids….always thinking outside the (Sosmix) box….

And I am so pleased with myself for managing to avoid all types of ‘link’ nonsense. I may try this grown-up thing again tomorrow….

We didn’t go up to watch Jools in the end. We stayed downstairs and did some more on the prayer rug, tried drawing some fancy stars, but much preferred eating houmous and pitta bread. She also started on her scarf, she’s halfway there already. Really thick wool and really big needles….very satisfying!
We went up in time to watch True Lies. Some of Olivia’s priceless comments (believe me there were plenty, I just can’t remember them all!):
“I am never flying an aircraft, I’d crash it in 5 minutes!” Think we’ll all sleep better, safe in that knowledge!;
“I like it when people burn!”
“What?!”
“When they go all wiggly” (miming a kind of belly dance/limbo type move, should have had a camcorder handy!);
“She’s really good with a gun!”
” She dropped it!”
“Yeah, but she still killed a lot of baddies.”;
She is a really squeamish peaceloving child (honest!), but…. “Whoo, yeah, smack her!”;
Stopping for the chimes: “We’ll come back to True Lies next year”
“WHAT??!!??!!”
“Livvie. Please. Think.”
“What does he mean, next year?!”
“What’s tonight?”
“Yeah, but that’s ages away!”
“Think about it!”
“I can’t wait that long!!”
I just looked at her, then at the clock.
“Ohhhh!!! *Next* year! I get it. It’s a joke!”
Think maybe half a glass ( it was the smallest I could find!) of bubbly may be a little too much for her!
And the sparklers didn’t work, no firemen in my bedroom last night. Note to self….must try harder!
And out of all my family, the only one who called me was the weird cousin. I did say he had a heart of gold. Maybe we’re kindred spirits! He does have all the family tree stuff that an elder family member (now deceased) had researched and has said he’ll give to me! Proper ‘tree’ stuff and all linen backed on a roll in a tube. Apparently that’s a good thing, I wouldn’t know. But it’ll be very interesting, the tree goes way back, so I can feel some kind of HUGE project coming up!
She finally got to bed about 2.30am. And only ‘cos I made her!
“But I thought we were staying up to do party poppers over Adam!”
“He said he won’t be home ’til about 6.”
“Oh, so I can go to sleep for a bit?”
“Yes.”
“Like a quick nap?”
“Yes! That would be a good thing.”
Adam actually got home about an hour later, but I’d put the chain on, so he had to call me. Which meant I could then get Olivia up, she was fast asleep but wide awake in an instant at the prospect of party-poppering Adam!
Adam, funnily enough, wasn’t best pleased at being popped!! He was desperate for a wee and had been kept on the doorstep while I was rousing Olivia and getting poppers out of the bag!
We all woke late this morning. Who’d have thunk?!
I started cooking breakfast about 1.30. As Adam was still in the house, I invited him to join us in a cooked breakfast.
“Is there fried eggs?”
We have been vegan for nearly 3 years now. He knows this. It is not a huge great surprise.
I was feeling quite magnanimous though, “If you want to go round the shop and buy them youself and cook them yourself…..” Well, my magnanimity only goes so far….
“No, it’s alright. Don’t think I’ll bother.”
Breakfast was almost done, I thought I’d try again, “Are you sure you don’t want any?”
“What are you having?”
“Sausages, bacon,mushrooms, tomatoes, baked beans, potato farls.”
“Is it real bacon and sausages?”
“Um….ooh….take a wild guess!”
“Huh….alright then, I suppose so.”
He came down stairs to Olivia popping madly at him, which didn’t go down too well it must be said!
“Muuummm!!!! Tell her!! I’ve got a hangover….it’s bang out of order!!!”
“Um (again!)….hangover? Oh dear, what a pity, not my problem, so I don’t care!”
“But hangovers get worse as you get older!”
“What?!?”
“I read it somewhere, it’s true!”
This is a boy who only reads textbooks if they’re absolutely vital to his coursework. And then only ever the relevant page or paragraph.
We sat down for breakfast.
“Stop flicking your hair at my dinner!”
“I’m not!”
“You are. Stop jumping up and down!”
“I’m not!”
“You are! Mum, tell her!”
“I’m not jumping up and down!”
“You are!! Mum, she flicked her hair on purpose then!”
“I didn’t!”
“You did!”
“I didn’t!”……ad infinitum….
“So, Adam, when are you moving out?”
“When I’m 27!”
Bugger, bugger, bugger!!!!! My sanity really cannot wait that long!
Oh and Olivia finished her scarf and almost finished the hat (I haven’t got a big enough needle to sew it up, it’s seriously thick wool!). She’s really pleased with herself because she managed to decrease, cast off and had a go at casting on too. The prayer rug got finished, I ended up having to do most of the detail in pencil, which she then went over in pen, and some more play with the Geomags.
“I love this. I want some more!”
“Buy it with your own money then!”
“I will!”
We had a phonecall from my mum and John. And I found out they have a real prayer rug. They used to have foreign students when they were still here, and one of the Muslim students left it behind for them.
“Um, d’you use it a lot?”
They don’t as it happens, so mum is going to send it over for Olivia.
Now I’ve got to go and watch Wind In The Willows,
“It’s already started!!”
“Nearly finished!”
“You’re missing it!!”
“Hang on!!”

Olivia had a phonecall from her ‘young man’ this morning. Except he was too shy to say anything, so all conversation was directed through his dad! Bless!!
She keeps saying to me, “I think you’re right. I think I am too young for a boyfriend. I don’t think I’m really ready for a boyfriend yet. I think I’ll wait ’til I’m a teenager. Do you think that’s a good idea?” (Yeah, ‘cos then we won’t have all this angst then will we?!)
Then, 5 minutes (or less!) later, “I can’t believe I’ve got a boyfriend! D’you think I’m too young?”
“I think we’ve already established that love!”
Anyway, he’s decided he’s going to write her a letter, because they won’t get to see each other ’til Jan. 10th.
Up to bed to watch The Witches. Which resulted in lots of deeply philosophical questions about ugliness of ‘bad deed doers’. She couldn’t understand why the witch at the end was still laughing evilly, even though she was being ‘good’….
Eid ul-Adha…..
I didn’t really find much more, so we kind of winged it. Olivia’s blogged all about it, and reading through it, I think she covered everything we did. So not much point in me repeating everything she’s said.
This is a cunning plan to get more people to look at her blog. She keeps moaning that more people look at mine….and I can afford to be generous because I’m winning!!!
We like ‘doing’ festivals, Olivia does because she thinks she’s getting away with not doing any maths or english or any boring stuff like that. I, on the other hand, know that today she has done geography, maths, english, history, science, art and, of course, RE. Result! Even watching Robin Hood helped, ‘cos she remembered from an episode a few weeks ago that Muslims don’t pray before human images.
Robin Hood also helps in more ways than one…..ie bribery! I have absolutely no shame in admitting that, on more than one occasion today, she was threatened, “Well, if you don’t get a move on, no Robin Hood!”
It was the last episode of the series today….what am I going to do next week??? Aaagh!
She blogged afterwards while I roasted chestnuts. Yes, I know we were going to have them yesterday (as Olivia kept pointing out repeatedly, until I was on the verge of throwing them at her!), but I couldn’t be bothered. We had them tonight and very delicious they were too!
Adam came home tonight, much to the joy of a little sister!
He came bearing gifts from his dad and grandparents for Olivia, which were much appreciated. His older sister is expecting a baby in January. If I was still with his dad, that would make me a granny very, very soon….phew! Dodged a bullet there!!!
He snuck onto the ‘puter to check emails while we scoffed our chestnuts. So I had to drag him off to give him his pressies, a mini punchbag, reindeer poo, batteries (for the punchbag!) and the one he really wanted, the Queen Platinum album. It’s weird…. he’s this really trendy, cool, label-wearing, dude-type clubbing teenager….so I’m not really sure where Queen fit in….
Olivia was telling him that Father Christmas had got her some origami wishing stars, and he just comes straight out with it, “Olivia, he’s not real.”
I give him a filthy look, yes, I know she’s 10, quite naive, if she was at school she probably wouldn’t still believe, but she’s not at school, she’s at home!!!!!! She’s allowed to be naive!
She kicked him (I would have if I’d been nearer!) and ran to get her letter from Santa. Waving it his face, “See, look, it’s from Santa! How can he write it if he’s not real?!” (Logic there somewhere!)
“Even P (Adam’s 6yo brother) knows he’s not….OW!” I got him that time!
He takes his pressies upstairs….. “WHAT’S WRONG WITH MY TELLY??”
“Olivia was watching a video and it got stuck. She didn’t do anything!” (It’s a really old TV!)
“I don’t bloody believe it! What did you do?”
“She didn’t DO anything!!”
Olivia’s starting to get emotional, “She breaks everything of mine!” (Complete lie, he’s the one who has gremlins following his every move!)
Olivia is now indeed crying…..
“You’re bloody lucky!” He’s got the video out and given it to Olivia.
“Can I have the cover as well please?”
“What ELSE do you want???” He was joking with that last comment…. I think!
They very soon made up, but, yep, Adam’s home!!