Just Jo!

….we haven’t been. Not since I said it anyway. So although I have plenty of time to blog, I haven’t actually got much to blog about.

We should have got to South Wales yesterday for our next camping adventure. But we didn’t. We’re still in Exeter. Not that I’m bitter or anything. But if Olivia thinks she’s getting any crisps this week….
Fortunately, Exeter has an abundance of free activities this summer. That are free. FREE!! Me likey. A lot! So many freebies in fact, that I doubt very much the necessity of us stepping outside the confines of Exeter’s city boundaries. Wahay!!

Anyways, back to our “not being very busy” weekend….
I’ve been reading a lot, but just lately, every book I’ve read that is set in America has mentioned “Naugahyde”. I had a feeling that it was that plasticky type chair cover, but I wasn’t completely sure. Being of an inquisitive nature, the next time I came across the term, I immediately headed to Google to help me out. And I was right! What I had no idea of though, was the history behind all the little Naugas, who so selflessly donate their hydes in the name of doctor’s waiting rooms.
Kind of reminded me of the adorably cute Haggii, to be found in the wilds of Scotland….

Yes, as you can see, when given the opportunity, I spend my precious few allotted seconds on the ‘puter looking up totally mind blowing information, which is, of course, entirely for the benefit of humankind….

So….apart from reading, we’ve also done a bit of eating….

The alfalfa in our Sunday lunch rolls was very nice, although I had to buy a new bioSnacky for the pleasure. The jar for the old one disappeared. The lid is still lurking in the kitchen though. But how can the jar have vanished so completely? Mind boggles. Unless of course it went on a little sojourn with the cutlery. Or one of the kids have broken it and have yet to ‘fess up. Olivia is useless at lying though, not even if her life depended on it. She does try though, bless her little cotton socks, but you might as well just stamp her sweaty brow “GUILTY!” I shall interrogate Adam when he returns from work. Not that he’ll have any idea what a bioSnacky jar is though.
And Adam loved the (vegan!) blackberry pie so much he licked the plate clean. Literally. He really did lick his plate. But ran away when he saw me reach for the camera to document his table manners….

Which reminds me, we went blackberry picking again….

….on our own this time. And I got caught short. Less said about that the better. A lot of nettles about.
“What did you use for loo paper mum?”
“I didn’t.”
“Ewwww!!!!”
“Shut up!”

And did all manner of things with them and the elderberries….

Olivia met Elvis!

Well….not technically the real Elvis….

Olivia’s been all of a stone age quiver (Me too! Wha…? It’s fun!)….
A stone age scene is being made, but it’s a work in progress and I’m banned from taking photos. At the moment. Give me time.
She’s currently reading Secret Water, more Swallows and Amazons adventures. She’s fortunately got over the sniggering every time Titty makes an appearance.
She’s also been blogging and Flickring like mad, completely overjoyed with all the comments she’s been receiving….
“How many have you got mum?”
“Shut up!”
(I’m really going off the entire concept of children…)

And, oh my gosh, we even thought about watching some TV!
But there was nowt on….

And I’ve had even less time on the ‘puter because Olivia has discovered the joys of Yahoo groups. The EO children’s one to be precise.

And another doodah from Shirl….

What Your Favorite Color Green Says About You:

Balanced — Relaxed — Flexible Compassionate — Philosophical — Humble Loyal — Inventive — Unique

I looked humble up in my Concise Oxford….I am sooo not humble….

Bizarre question from Adam today, “When you’re, like, grey all over, d’you want me to put you in a home?”

Bizarre comment from Olivia today, after I noticed she hadn’t washed up the mixing bowl properly, “Well it’s not my fault if you get pastry all up the sides!”

See you next Sunday!

Edited to add (because I was gob-smacked!)

Are all my efforts at home educating my daughter completely in vain??
Yes, we have the return of …. Dah Dah Dah!! …. “Stupid Question Of The Day”

“Mum, what’s the opposite of long?”

I hang my head in shame. Have I taught her nothing?? Three years (and more!) and she not know???!!!

Yes! You read right!
Just as we were leaving this morning, the postman came. It looked a bit of a sombre letter, so I was going to leave it ’til we got home. But then I thought, “Oh what the heck! Let’s live dangerously!” And am I glad I opened it?!! It was the letter from Exeter City Council saying “I am pleased to tell you that the Committee has agreed to award you the full amount you requested….”
The grant I applied for! The grant so’s the kids can do the activities at the outdoor centre! We got the money! They can do it all!! I am seriously well-chuffed with myself!!
Just got to book it all up now, work out who’s doing what, who won’t be able to do everything ‘cos it’s over-subscribed, work out how to tell them they won’t be able to do everything, work out how to run away really quickly before anyone starts having a go at me….
Yeah, the grant application was the easy bit!

We went to Okehampton group today. Olivia wanted to take two of her kites, the two little ones, I put my foot down at the big one. She wanted to take them because we’d seen a bloke on one of the playing fields yesterday, with a huge stunt kite, almost being lifted off the ground. It would have been one of our Play prompt photos, but a) couldn’t get a decent photo (yeah, ‘cos the other’s are sooo professional!) and b) these kite fliers take it all so seriously, it couldn’t possibly count as play!

The trade-off for taking kites (I wasn’t going to let her take anything, because she’d done something to annoy me, can’t remember what now, probably not brushing her hair again….), was she’d have to do some maths and English on the bus, going there and coming back. It’s a 45 minute bus ride! We’re gallivanting a lot again this week! When else will we fit in proper work stuff??!

She did it though….trying different ways of multiplication….

Yes, I am a cruel, cruel mother who ‘makes’ her dearly beloved daughter do workbooks on the bus!
But you can see just how much she’s enjoying herself….
We got to Okehampton, and I triumphantly waved my letter from the council around.
Plenty of bikes to go round this time. The kites were a big success as well, being towed along behind the bikes all over the ramps and stuff…. “Um….are they electricity cables? Um….you might wanna watch out for them. They bite.”
Then the kite strings sort of bit the dust, so it was mere biking from then on….
But then….but then….much excitement….something was found. Something….yes, something that I’m not allowed to mention….because Olivia wants the honours. I’ll just say that one of the mum’s really didn’t want it anywhere near her, not even for a second.
Like her daughter said, “Well, she sort of had a bad experience once….” Mind boggles. But they have gerbils, so….
Anyways, after the geat excitement, we said our goodbyes and got supplies from Lidl’s, also saved a fortune by running very quickly past Waitrose.
Spent some of the saved fortune by buying a book while we waited almost an hour for the bus back to Exeter. A multiple choice history book. Quite basic, but it helped pass the time waiting for the bus. A lot of the questions she knew easily, some she could make an educated guess and the rest were wild stabs in the dark.
On the bus coming home, she continued with maths, asking at one point, “But why, if 9 and 9 is 18, why is 8 and 8, 16?”
“Wha….?!! I’m sorry, I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that my brain has just exploded ‘cos of sheer bewilderment!!”
She did apologise.
We got home, she blogged, I read a bit, we cooked dinner, Spag Bol, and then we ate it.
Adam came down and asked if we were having pies at all this week. “Um….don’t know. Why?”
“Because I’ll have dinner with you.”
“I’m not feeding you.”
“I’m not asking you to.”
“I’m coming up for a skint week, so I’m definitely not feeding you!”
“Mother! I’m not asking you to!!”
“What are you asking then?”
“If you’re having pies at all this week, ‘cos then I’ll have my own pie with you.”
“I’m not giving you potatoes and veg.”
“I’m not asking you to!!!”
“Oh….so you just want to have a meal with us then?”
“YES!”
“Oh….OK then. We’ll probably have pies on Thursday.”
Adam buys his own food, and does all his own cooking. I used to insist on a weekly family night where we eat together, but the last one was ages ago. And that was only because he didn’t have any money for two weeks when he started his new job at Tesco’s, so you can understand my suspicion.
But he really does want to have a meal with us.
Actually spend time with us one evening this week.
I haven’t had to nag him into it.
Gosh, he’ll be suggesting we all play a game together next.
Excuse me while I pick myself up from the floor! The last few days, getting on for weeks now actually, have all been very jolly. And nice. And joyous. And lovely. And good things happening….
Really could do with a healthy dose of cynicism….just to keep things balanced you understand.

Yeah, a joke from Prydwen is what’s required here methinks….

A couple were driving to a church to get married. On the way, they got into a car accident and died. When they arrive in heaven, they see St. Peter at the gate. They ask him if he could arrange it so they could marry in heaven.
St. Peter tells them that he’ll do his best to work on it for them.

Three months pass by and the couple hear nothing. They bump into St. Peter and ask him about the marriage.

He says, “I’m still working on it.”

Two years pass by and no marriage.

St. Peter again assures them that he’s working on it.

Finally after twenty long years, St. Peter comes running with a priest and tells the couple it’s time for their wedding.

The couple marry and live happily for a while. But after a few months the couple go and find St. Peter and tell him things are not working out, and that they want to get a divorce.

“Can you arrange it for us?” they ask.

St. Peter replies, “Are you kidding?! It took me twenty years to find a priest up here. How am I gonna find you a lawyer?”

Adam ate all the bread on Thursday night, so I had to disturb his beauty sleep yesterday morning and order him to the corner shop for more. If I want toast, by golly, I shall have toast!
The museum was the first port of call for Olivia to do a clocks and time worksheet quiz thingy (and get more trading cards). Then after lunch from Holland and Barretts, we went to the community centre to do a Magical Clocks workshop (See the neat tie-in there? Clocks quiz, clocks workshop. I am soooo good!) We made fantasy clocks, Olivia’s being a cat and mine a flower.

Lin and the boys appeared too. Olivia had finished her clock, but due to liberal amounts of glue being used, we were still waiting for it to dry. So it meant she got to distract M from his clock.

They were far more interested in the trading cards. Because the workshop was part of the museum’s halfterm activities, they got yet another pack each.
We took M home with us, while Lin and J finished their masterpieces.
We still had Lin’s milk from the day before, so I could say “Come round to mine for a cuppa,” secure in the knowledge that we did indeed have milk for non-vegans. And we’ve still got it! Anyone else want a cuppa on Lin? Quick! Before she asks for her milk back! Or it goes off! Or Adam drinks it!
I got a phonecall that interrupted our tea drinking. Could I babysit? In about an hour? Um, suppose so. After Tuesday night, when I’d had no money for babysitting fees, I’d said, “If you need anyone, I’ll do the same for you….”
Parents going out on a Friday night? Scandalous!
The best thing about babysitting with a 10 year old who is oh so desperate for a little brother or sister? Sitting with your feet up, watching telly (Yes! Me! Watching telly!), “Keep an eye on the baby will you….”

They’d got back by about 10:30, but being merrily influenced by alcohol, we didn’t actually leave ’til gone one.
“C’mon. We’re going home now.”
“Oh why?!” (Stupid Question No.1) And more general moaning in a very loud manner.
“Because it’s quarter past one.”
“Oh….”
Then walking home, “Cor, it’s really quiet. Why’s it so quiet?” (Stupid Question No. 2)
“Because it’s half past one.”
“Oh….”
We got home to a major grump from Adam, “Where have you been? Thanks for telling me! Why didn’t you call me? Thanks for leaving a note. No, I’m not kissing you goodnight! Go away! I’m trying to sleep!”
Needless to say, we slept in this morning….
But Adam woke me up by knocking on my door, “I’m going into town now, then I’m going to watch football, then I’m going back into town and I’ll be home about 11. See? That’s not hard to do is it?!”
Oh, he just had to make his point didn’t he??

I thought about nagging Olivia to do some workbooks. A thought which had a lifespan of….ooh, let’s see now….about ten seconds.
She got on with a crystal mining kit.

(Hair still not brushed at 2:30. )
We got it at the Science Museum last year. It kept her quiet for hours. It may be worth investing in another trip to London purely for the bliss that quietness is.
I was playing Connect 4 online. And losing every single game. So then I sulked. I tried to pester Olivia, but she was having none of it.
“Please, please, PLEASE can I have a go?” I wheedled and wheedled.
“No. Go away!”
I really should learn to leave well alone when she’s being quiet. It always comes back to bite me.

We had three mini blackouts during the day, when the electric went off for literally a millisecond. Olivia was a tad traumatised….
“Woah! What was THAT??? What happened?? That was sooo freaky!! Why did it DO that?? Will it do it again?? You should call the electric people! It’s going to really irritate me if it keeps doing that!! CALL THEM! Find out what’s happening! Are you going to call them??”
“No.”
“WHY NOT??!!”
Yeah, like I said to Adam earlier….

We finally got round to having our chinese meal as part of the New Year festivities. We had crispy duckless pancakes from this book. That’s them on the front cover. Did you see them? Ours never ever ever look like that!
Mix together 1 tablespoon each of soy sauce….

….and blackstrap molasses, and 2 tablespoons of avocado oil. Olivia couldn’t decide whether it looked more like a runny cowpat or the measles medicine from Nanny McPhee.
Add to this fragrant mixture, 1 finely chopped onion, 6 sliced mushrooms and a tin of crumbled mock duck.

(Hair still not brushed at 5pm. )
Stir it ’til it’s well-coated, then spread in a thin layer on an oiled baking sheet. Bake for 20-25 minutes in a pre-heated oven at 180 c/350 f/gas mark 4.
Serve in rice pancakes with spring onions sliced into lengths and cucumber thinly sliced. The recipe also called for sesame seeds, vegan oyster sauce and a lime. But we didn’t have any of that. So we didn’t use them.
The recipe serves four. There’s only two of us. We like crispy duckless pancakes a lot!

Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! I found a joke!

Yeah, this’ll be the adult humour bit. Quite mild compared to some of the others I’ve found. You’ll have to let me know if you want extra, extra rude ones! Believe me, I’ve got a few!!

Face Lift

A man decides to have a face-lift for his birthday. He spends $5,000 and feels really good about the results. On his way home, he stops at a newsstand and buys a paper.

Before leaving, he says to the sales clerk, “I hope you don’t mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?” “About 35,” was the reply. “I’m actually 47,” the man says, feeling really happy. After that, he goes into McDonalds for lunch and asks the clerk the same question. The reply is, “Oh, you look about 29″. “I am actually 47.”

Later, while standing at a bus stop, he asks an old woman the same question. She replies, “I am 85 years old, and my eyesight is going. But when I was young, there was a sure way of telling a man’s age. If I put my hand down your pants and play with your balls for 10 minutes, I will be able to tell you your exact age.”

As there was no one around, the man thinks, What the hell and lets her slip her hand down his pants. Ten minutes later, the old lady says, “Okay, it’s done. You are 47.” Stunned, the man says, “That was brilliant. How did you do that?” The old lady replies, “I was behind you at McDonalds.”

Guess what I’ll be doing when I’m 85?!

Today is Wednesday….(duh!)….and our usual group day. But as it’s halfterm, it’s not usual group. It was a Red Nose Cafe. Except for us it wasn’t. (Still with me?!) Because of illness, the cafe was cancelled, but then it was a lovely sunny day today, so the cafe was back on….(still with me??!!)
We only went in today to hand in the outdoor activities grant application, but I needed a copy of the accounts for it. Which I didn’t have. The person who did wasn’t there (well, ain’t that just typical!), so I left the incredibly and eruditely filled in form in capable hands and buggered off to the museum.
Before we left, Olivia was very, very loud and vocal in getting people to come to the stall selling clothes, toys and books. It would have been easier to just say bric-a-brac….

It was a garden wildlife day at the museum. Olivia filled in a quiz sheet form thing and handed it in. In the hope of winning some kind of prize….(don’t hold your breath….) She also made a dragonfly and a frog badge. OK, yes, hands up, I did subtly encourage her to do the frog one ‘cos I collect all things froggy….
We saw Lin and her boys there too. I asked Lin if they’d finished with the Greek story book….they haven’t quite. When they started doing their Greek project, I showed Lin a Pandora’s Box (that’s what it’s called, honest!) that I’d bought for Adam (’cos I was mad keen on doing something Hellenic) when he was about nine in the hope he’d want to do it. He showed absolutely no interest, so I held out hope for Olivia….no chance, although Atticus is one of her favourite books.
But….but….oh yes, indeedy….she is showing a smidgeon of interest in a Greek project. Wahay!!! Must try not to oversell it, because if she’s anything like me, she’ll turn around and say no if I say how wonderful it’ll be….
Anyways, after the wildlife day (where she got another two packs of trading cards), we stayed in the museum for Olivia to do the Mediterranean Antiquities quiz….

And got herself another pack of trading cards. Joy of joys, she didn’t have a single ‘double’ in that pack. Her doubles she’s donating to Lisa’s girls. There’s another four heading their way!
We cycled home. I know it’s getting warmer because I haven’t had to wear my gloves the last few bike rides. And we have daffodils in the garden. The bright yellow always warms things up.
We had lunch, then Olivia finished the Chinese lantern….

Stupid Question Of The Day:
I got the latest DVD from Lovefilm this morning, ‘Hoodwinked’. I told Olivia about it. This evening, she got all excited, “Ooh! Ooh! Can we watch Periwinkle tonight?”
“What?!”
There’s a ‘wink’ in common, so I suppose in Olivia-world, that’s close enough….
Which reminds me of a certain twin last night and her comment about her aunt’s cheque being dropped on the floor and ‘bouncing’….sorry, only Lisa will get that reference!

I had a fairly long chat with my mum. She’d been in hospital last week and on a drip. The lining of her colon had got infected, what she was most pissed off about was not being able to eat for a few days. Yeah, that’s my mother….
My stepdad, John, has still got serious medical problems. He had to take early retirement, and they’d moved to Spain for health reasons, but talking to him tonight was hard. I know, and he knows, that it’s only temporary, it will all be sorted out, but I’ve never heard him sound so ill….So ill, he’s had to start taking anti-depressants to cope with it. Which is hard, I grew up with my mum being on anti-d’s for as long as I can remember….I know she needed them, and there’s been more times than I care to admit that I could have done with them….but growing up with a parent on them, I dunno….I tend to clean and tidy a lot ( and I mean a LOT!) when I’m not feeling 100%, then I feel more in control. I don’t want to give that ‘control’ to a chemical. Perhaps I am a control freak after all….
I got a bit wibbly after putting the phone down, actually very wibbly wobbly….not like me at all….
Um….need a laugh now….let me see what I can find….

Aha!!

White House 2008

One sunny day in 2008, an old man approached the White House from across Pennsylvania Avenue, where he’d been sitting on a park bench.

He spoke to the Marine standing guard and said, “I would like to go in and meet with President Hillary Clinton .” The Marine replied, “Sir, Mrs. Clinton is not President and doesn’t reside here.” The old man said, “Okay,” and walked away.

The following day, the same man approached the White House and said to the same Marine, “I would like to go in and meet with President Hillary Clinton”.

The Marine again told the man, “Sir, as I said yesterday, Mrs. Clinton is not President and doesn’t reside here.” The man thanked him and again walked away..

The third day, the same man approached the White House and spoke to the very same Marine, saying “I would like to go in and meet with President Hillary Clinton.”

The Marine, understandably agitated at this point, looked at the man and said, “Sir, this is the third day in a row you have been here asking to speak to Mrs. Clinton. I’ve told you already several times that Mrs. Clinton is not the President and doesn’t reside here. Don’t you understand?”

The old man answered, “Oh, I understand you fine, I just love hearing your answer!”

Going to watch ‘Periwinkle’ now….

Some funnies from last night.
Stupid Question Of The Day:
Olivia: “D’you think Maisy really loves me ‘cos I always let her smell my food? Not after she’s like, just licked her bum though.”
I asked her to get me paper and pen, “Oh, don’t write it down! You didn’t put anything about me saying thongs last night did you?”
“Ummm…..”
“MUM!!!”
So I’m not sure how long I’ll be allowed to write about her Oliviaism’s before she starts getting a complex!
We had tacos for dinner last night, then when Adam got home from work, we followed it up with some nachos. Nothing like a bit of spice to get rid of the chills. While I was cooking the tacos, Olivia was leaning on me, “I really love your cooking mum, even when it….”
“OK! Stop there!” I had the feeling that what was coming next would be less than complimentary. And I happen to like living in my little candy-coated, fluffy dreamworld!
A snap decision was also made to make it Family Night (we haven’t had one for weeks now).
Adam let Olivia choose which film we watched, so she chose The Lost Boys. It’s always scared her too much before and I pointed this out to her. “Yeah but….I’ve got to get used to it sometime.”…..(Why?!)
Watching it gave rise to lots of discussion about the differences between the Corey’s Haim and Feldman. Feldman being in both The Goonies and Stand By Me (favourites of all of ours), and Keifer Sutherland also being in Stand By Me.
Adam said that he (Keifer) still looks exactly the same now.
I said, “He’s in 24.”
“He’s only 24?!”
“No….he’s *in* 24.” (That’ll be Adam’s slight blonde moment for the week)
Then Adam moaned he didn’t want to watch it anyway. “Well, you did let Olivia choose which film to watch….”
“I’m going to bed.”
Olivia wailing, “But it’s family night!”
“I’m tired!”
“Adam! Mum! Tell him!”
Then it degenerated from there really, Olivia in tears, Adam stomping off upstairs….
The one good thing to come out of it was that we got to watch the film to the point of what is probably one of my mostest favouritest lines in a film, probably ever….
“You’re a Goddamn, s**t-sucking vampire…..oooh….you wait ’til Mom finds out!”
This morning we were up bright and early, I even dragged Olivia out of bed at 20 to 8. She was not best pleased….
We left the house at just gone 10, we were riding our bikes and had plenty of time to get to group. So we stopped at our friends house for a cuppa….we were late….again….
But it was nice to see Lisa and the girls, we haven’t seen them since we had a Hanukkah day back in December.
And, oh joy of joys, on the way to group, I checked my bank on the off-chance, and yippee-aie-aye(!!!), a cheque that I wasn’t expecting to clear ’til next week, cleared today!!!! So I’m not nearly as skint as I thought I was!!
Another meeting about grants at the group, I am now ‘implementing’ the one for an Outdoor Education Centre. I have already warned people that I will be strict, stern and have no faffing around. I wonder if, afterwards, I’ll be asked to do anymore ‘implementing’??!!
While at the arts centre, I got talking to someone who’s daughter has not long started the drama class. We had quite a long chat, mostly about home education. Her daughter is 6, and from the sound of it, very much like Olivia at that age. She was very interested in home-ed because she couldn’t quite see a place where her daughter would fit in at school. Yeah, nodded me sagely, that’s exactly why I took Olivia out before any problems could begin! She may very well be a convert after a few more chats.
After she’d gone, Lin came by with the boys. Bit of a palaver with being moved from one table to another due to some kind of dinner/movie deal going on, and the whole dining area being booked. So we ended up down the road at a real proper bar. Lin left her mobile number, just in case any of our kids happened to lose or break a limb in the hour we were gone. They managed to survive intact.
I’m getting lots more confident on my bike now, but still panicked when riding home and had to contend with two lots of joggers heading toward me!! Not good!
Lin and boys got the bus back, although M really wanted to walk with us. No, he would have had to trot along behind us!
We met them on the way home and they came back to ours for a bit. Olivia’s finally got her moon phase thing thanks to Lin.
Although I have bus fare now, we’re still biking tomorrow, because it’s too awkward and too many buses to get to where we’re going tomorrow. It’s a secret! Be patient!
So I’m getting in the bath and going to bed now.
Night John-Boy.
Night Jim-Bob.
Night Ma.
Night Pa.

….can I get in one blog, just to prove that I really can do it and yesterday wasn’t a fluke?!
Launchcast is still not loading, so I’ve been playing lots of CDs instead. (Can you see where I’m going with this?)
I had on The Zutons yesterday (Did you see that link there?!), but after about the 124th play, Lin got bored with it so I put on The Animals (What about that one?!). Woah!! Two links in one sentence!!
Today started in a very slobby manner, with neither of us feeling like doing much. Adam’s football had been called off so he just stayed in bed.
Olivia hunted for funnies to do linky things with….okaaay, I may possibly have had a look or two as well….
And CDs this morning were Amy Winehouse followed by The Levellers.
I will be the first to admit that I have a somewhat eclectic taste in music.
Olivia spent most of the time prancing around with her guitar, “I haven’t practised for ages!” She’s trying to teach herself with this book.
She looked up the Bible references for the sayings she’d found yesterday. We’ve had this project book for a while now and she’s finally motivated enough to actually start it!
She’s almost finished her Egyptian colouring book, I was going to put a link here but it was a boring one. Even I have some standards!
Ugly Betty last night was good, I may even watch it again next week, provided I remember it’s on. The only downside being that I nearly broke my leg in the panic to turn off the TV before Big Brother came on! And there is no way on earth that I’ll be putting in a link to that nonsense! It would only encourage them and they really don’t need that!!!
Olivia did a couple more pages in her science work book. I then spent the rest of the afternoon trying to persuade her to do some more workbooks. So I could practice my stupendous linking skills. Horrible child wouldn’t play along though…
Think she’s already trying to wean me off my new-found link obssesion….
We had dinner. It was alright. Then we had dessert (most definitely *not* a pudding!).
We made it. And it was good!!! I’d do a link here but I can’t remember where I got it, may have been Vegan Lunchbox, not sure. Chocolate mousse. Oh my giddy aunt, it was good!!
Here is the recipe:
2 avocadoes
1/2 cup maple syrup
1/2 cup cocoa
Throw it all in a food processor (we just used our hand blender), chill and enjoy. (How easy is that?!)

It said it should make enough for 3-4 servings….HA! It’s chocolate! It’s me and Olivia! There was barely enough for the two of us!!
Oh my! Oh my! Oh my!
It was scrum-diddly-umptious!!! All chocolatey, all velvety, all….all….all….
Oh yes, we will be making this one again! A lot!!!

Stupid Question Of The Day:
(While doing a page in her science book)
“I’ve finished now. Shall I stop?”
“Um….yeah.”

And bizarre question of the day came after we’d sat down for dinner. She’d previously been talking about more sayings from the Bible, ‘thou’s’ and ‘thy’s’ etc, then suddenly blind-sided me with:
“Why was Nanny Essey called Nanny Essey?”
“Um….because that’s her name….?”
(Nanny Essey was my step-dad’s mum, Olivia’s step-great-nanny, a lovely, lovely lady who died in December 2005. I was a little nonplussed, Olivia didn’t have a clue why she’d suddenly thought of Nanny Essey.)

Oooh…. links…. bear with me, I will try to find some useful ones and not get distracted by silly videos on Youtube….but then again….no, I will be sensible….but they are quite funny….no, I will be a grown-up….but they make me laugh….no, I will be an amazing facilitator of knowledge for my daughter….but have you seen the one….NO. Must. Back. Away. From. Youtube…..oh, sod it! Laugh (or not!) at the monkey!
I will try being a grown-up tomorrow and see how I feel….

Today started pleasantly enough. Olivia woke me with a cup of tea and we snuggled in bed to read a few more chapters of Our Island Story (ooh, that King John, what a scamp eh?!)
We came downstairs and decided to finish a withy and tissue paper star that we’d started….um….er….last January…. ahem…. We had three more points to do, it takes two of us, one to hold the paper in place, the other to cut it so we get the right size triangle. It started getting a bit glue-y, so we took a break to let it dry a bit. I went to wash my hair and gave Olivia some worksheets to do on ‘time’….
She has a very dodgy relationship with time, and immediately started wailing, “But I don’t like time!!!”
I am well aware she doesn’t like it. Which is why I gave her the really easy ones. Simply converting to and from a 24 hour clock.
I went off to the bathroom, leaving her muttering behind me, “I don’t like time….”
“Shut up! It’s easy! You’ve just got to add or take away 12. That’s it!”
Not more than a minute later, banging on the door, “I’m stuck! I can’t do it! It’s TOO HARD!!”
“What is?”
“Every time I try adding 12 to 4 I end up with 5 past 4!”
For the love of….give me strength….
“What is 4 and 12?”
“16.”
“So, how the bl….(must not swear, must not swear…) so, how, sweetie, light of my life, have you ended up with 5 past 4??”
More wailing, “I DON’T KNOW!!”
Explained it all again, “You. Add. 12. To. The. Hour.”
All was then quiet. Adam had come down by this time to ‘check emails’.
When I’d come out of the bathroom, Olivia had finished her worksheets, “Adam said they’re all right. But he said to put pm after the 16.”
“No. That’s the whole point of 24 hour clocks, you already *know* it’s in the afternoon or evening.”
And Adam’s ‘checking emails’ consisted of Bebo (and lots of scantily clad girls) and Fantasy Football League. That’s teenage boys for you….sex and football.
It seems like I’ve been doing a lot of ‘rolling eyes’ lately…. that’s probably because….oh yes…. I bloody well have been!!!
And just to give you a snapshot of the area we live….
We popped out in the afternoon to get bread and rolls for lunch….
A Lidl’s trolley abandoned on the pavement in front of our garden.
A car roared past, windows down, music blaring.
Two girls standing at the corner of our garden, screaming,”Like your car mate!!”
Further down the road, huge amount of dog turd, not blaming the dog, blaming the owner who obviously dragged the dog along, thus spreading dog turd over even greater distance.
Bit further on, three girls arguing, then one of the girls grabbed another by the hair, almost pulling her to the ground, before screaming, “Yeah, just you try getting away!”
At the end of the road, burnt out and abandoned wheelie bin.
Salubrious, ain’t it?!
“Quick! Run home! Lock the door! Close the curtains! Open the wine! Bugger! It’s too early!”
Spent the rest of the afternoon looking at my watch, “No, it’s still too early! What time does ‘cocktail hour’ start anyway?!”
In between the clock watching, we finished the star.

(Apologies for blurriness!)

Olivia finished another worksheet on 24 hour times.
“It’s much easier now you’ve explained it!”
Hang on, let me just rewind time a minute….yep, I did explain it at the very beginning. I am not cracking up….not just yet anyway….
She also did a ‘naming continents’ worksheet and a ‘prefixes’ worksheet.
We had another stab at completing an Usborne skeleton that we started last….ahem….summer. The skull is almost finished now.

“Alas! poor Yorick, I knew him Horatio….”

I actually had to look up this quote!!! Would have been a darn sight easier if I hadn’t got me MacBeth mixed up with me Hamlet!
And getting this last lot of photo’s up…..what a blinking palaver!!!!
I kept putting in the sim card and nothing was happening. Not a sausage. I ended up having to turn off the computer completely and restarting! Which is why half the photos are so blurry, I can’t be arsed to sort out the good ones!
Olivia has been chucked in the bath, “But I’m sort of going off the idea of baths….”
“Get in!!!” Autonomy only goes so far!!
Stupid Question Of The Day (x2)
While looking at Wikipedia, the MLK entry,
“Is tomorrow Martin Luther King Day then?” (How much have we been talking about it over the last week?!)
And falling in a heap at the bottom of the stairs,
“Where’s the mistletoe?!” (stupid because it came down on Jan 3rd after she, herself, noticed it was dropping all it’s leaves and berries!)

!!!WARNING!!!
Adult humour coming up!
Because I very much need it!
Thanks to Prydwen!

A college Professor was giving a lecture on ‘Involuntary Muscular Contractions’ to his first year medical students.
Realising that this was not the most riveting subject, the Professor decided to lighten the mood slightly.
He pointed to a young woman in the front row and said, “Do you know what your arsehole is doing while you’re having an orgasm?”

She replied, “Probably out drinking beer with his mates.”

I am now going to put pics on Olivia’s blog so she can write around them when she gets out of the bath. Then the plan is for me to see how long exactly it takes me to finish a bottle of wine….
Oooh! No, I can’t!! Amazon are coming early tomorrow!!! With my new DVD player!!!!
WOO HOO!!!!
Must make sure I’m up extra, extra early so I don’t miss the delivery!!!!!

I totally wimped out of skating today. It was far too blowy and I don’t work well in the wind. It blows my hair all over the place and gives me a headache! Olivia is all, "But we’ve only got three days left!"  Plymouth will still be there though….

So we ended up having a very slobby lazy day at home instead. I had a lovely long nap on the sofa (Olivia watched Princess Diaries for what seems like the hundredth time!) and when I awoke it was all dark outside. I’ve only just really woken up in the last few hours to be honest. And got a bit of a shock now I’ve just seen what the time is!

Olivia still managed to get a fair bit done. Some english, first, second and third person narratives, and onamatopoeia (which is always a favourite….splash, crack, kerpow!!!) That was that english book finished and in the other one it was some simple (I thought!) paragraph work….but she managed to get totally confused by it. And managed to get me all confused as well as I tried to work out how she’d gone wrong, and then to explain it again. Still not sure she’s got it….

She’s made a start on her Bible project. Done a bit of reading, worked out a route from Egypt to Babylon to sell papyrus, and what kind of transport they’d have used. She’s drawn some pictures of said transport which will eventually end up in a picture strip on the wall….somewhere.

And one page of science on irreversible changes. And the less said about that, the better! Let’s just say, the paragraph work was a doddle in comparison….

It’s Martin Luther King Day on Monday so I printed some worksheets out in readiness, with Olivia choosing which ones she wanted to do. She wants to do a scrapbook page on him as well, so we trawled through images of him to print. And some scrapbook papers and frames. Everything is ready for Monday now and I feel all virtuous!  

She’s also started another knitting project. A little more complicated than the scarf. This one is a bright pink purse. She’s had to do two rib rows. Which had to be done about three or four times because she kept forgetting whether she’d done knit or purl. Then it was stocking stitch, which would have been easier, except she has to increase at each end of every 3rd row until there’s 36 stitches.She started out with 20, she’s up to 24, but beginning to be disheartened, so I’ve said I’ll take it up to 30 for her. Because I’m not always an evil mother!

She’s also been singing various songs from Bugsy Malone. A lot. Quite loudly at times. All day actually. "My name is Tallulah!", "Down, down, down and out!", "We coulda been anything that we wanted to be!" and a couple of others but I forget which ones. Looking on the bright side though, it’s quite impressive because she’s only watched it twice!

I’m off for a bath. I only mention this because it’s supposed to be a Lush night. And you all know about my deep and meaningful relationship with Lush. Except Adam’s skint and desperately needed £33. Which I gave him. Which then leaves me short for the rest of the month. Which means I couldn’t get any Lush yesterday. Which means I had to buy cheap 88p crap from Tesco’s. Which means I am not a happy bunny. Which means I am going to sulk now.

And do you think he has any idea of the sacrifices I make for him? Does he heck as like!

And stupid question of the day? "What d’you remember us doing in 2005?" Only stupid because it came out of absolutely nowhere. And gave me a headache!

Not sure why really, well I am, but…. ho hum.
I didn’t feel like skating, despite saying “Yes! We’re going whatever the weather!”
And this will probably end up being a list of things more than anything.
Olivia’s finished knitting her hat, managed decreasing and casting off without any reminder tips from me, so she’s incredibly chuffed with herself.
She did lots more in her road safety book, only stopping when there was a page on time. “You know I don’t like time!”
I’m still not sure what time has to do with road safety, might have to actually look at the book in a minute!
Oh! Nearly forgot! We got some more DVDs from Amazon, My Fair Lady and Time Bandits. My Fair Lady because Olivia is just a musical freak, and Time Bandits is a favourite of all of ours. The tape we have is getting dodgy and unpredictable now.
Then in the afternoon, another pressie from Amazon, The History and Activities of Ancient Egypt. I *have* looked in that one and it looks good!
Can you tell that I’m working my way slowly through the wish list?!
Only 97 to go now!
Olivia made the banana muffins, I just hovered, taking the odd photo. When they’d cooled enough we had one with a cup of tea. Very nice they were too!

She’s also sewn up Ted’s hat and made a pompom for it. Then made a scarf for him as well. They really are a matching pair now!

(Have no idea what’s on her sleeve!)

Things were interrupted somewhat by an extremely long phonecall from a certain young man! Then followed up by lots of texts to the house phone. Olivia wanted to use mine…. “Um….no!”
“Well if I had my own phone….”
“Stop!! You are not having a phone! You’re far too young and there’s no need!”
“But….”
“Nope!!”
Oooh! I can be harsh!
Even worse was this morning when Maisy *used* her tray and I *made* Olivia clean it out! She hasn’t had to for ages because Maisy has been going outside, and Olivia has become a bit spoilt as a result. She really wanted to foster Maisy, so it’s her job to do all the feeding, fresh water each morning and changing the litter. And lots of brushing ‘cos she’s a long-haired cat. I very firmly believe that if children want pets, then they *have* to look after them. No question! See, I said I can be harsh!! I showed her how to do everything properly and hygienically, and that was the end of my involvement. Except for the fun stuff like worming and flea control!
I’ll read a bit more of Our Island Story, then I think we’re going to retire up to bed with various DVDs and muffins.
And a late bath…. It is Lush Night after all. I have Lush baths on alternate nights to make things last longer. Tonight, I think I’ll have a Youki-Hi…. “Youki-Hi was one of the world’s three most beautiful women ever. Bathe in our jasmine bath and you’ll feel like the fourth.”
Ha!!! They’re having a laugh!!!
Stupid Question Of The Day (apart from asking for her own mobile!):
(While making banana muffins)
“Is there chocolate in these?”
And Second Stupid Question Of The Day:
“How d’you undercrease?”
“What?”
“How d’you undercrease?”
“I don’t even know what that means!”
(Giving me a very pitying look)”When you make more stitches.”
“IN- crease!”

Christmas tree came down today!
Now we have space, space, glorious space! Yippee!
Christmas is over and it’s time for detox!
The walls seem empty, even though we didn’t really have any decorations up. Just cards on ribbons around the room, silver snowflakes made last year, Olivia’s advent tree and three nativity scenes. Oh well, it must mean Olivia has lots of work ahead to fill them up again!
The dead skin on my burnt finger, you’ll be pleased to know, has peeled off, and I now have most of the feeling back!
Olivia started back on her workbooks as well. She chose maths first and then english.
Maths was tally charts and block graphs which she always gets excited about.
Some fraction work too, those fraction cubes are still earning their keep.
English was different forms of letter writing.
We don’t use workbooks all the time, just now and then, usually when I look back and think we haven’t really done much schooly type stuff.
Lin phoned for a chat and…. she knows what’s coming next! She informed me, that whilst in her bath last night, she was thinking of me! All say aaah!! Bless!!!!
Sorry Lin, don’t take it personal like, but I don’t actually *think* of you when I’m soaking in Lush!!
She also told me how to put photos on…. uploading to Flickr seemed to take ages though (192 photos?), and I gave up…
Next time maybe….
Olivia made a start on her Bangladesh project, which resulted in all our lovely (roomy now!) floor space being immediately covered in loads of atlases!
She has made a flag, always the best place to start when ‘doing’ a country. We have so many flags from various nations now. Most spectacular must be the big, painted on an old bit of sheet, Stars and Stripes. Some are more challenging than others….can’t wait to do Saudi Arabia….or Turkmenistan. She’s going to cheat one day and ask to do something on Libya!
What else?
She’s made a few notes, we found a Virtual Bangladesh online that we’ll be having a proper look at in the coming weeks. Bangladesh National Day is on 26 March, so not too far away for us to completely forget it!
I found my charger!!!
“Where’s my phone?!”
It had gone down the back of my bed(?). I’d pulled my bed out, obviously not far enough, ‘cos it had gone down and under. Weird! But I do now have an immaculate bedroom. Well, immaculate can be a bit of a grey area sometimes….
Maisy has taken to laying right behind my chair when I’m ‘putering. No matter how many times I move and get her, no matter how many times she squeals and hisses, she still lays there. Don’t get it.
I’m off for a Lush bath now. How many times do I have to mention them for a discount?! Tonight it’s a Sakura ballistic….”The Sakura encapsulates the feeling of cherry blossom falling softly in a gentle breeze, scented with mimosa, jasmine and orange blossom. Drop into the pre-run water for a fragrant, fizzing, calming bath.”
No bits in this one!
Stupid Question of the Day, while we were looking at Bangladesh on Google Earth (Thanks Lin!), then going to Spain and Devon….
“Can we go to Mars?”
“Um…. Google E..A..R..T..H.”
“Oh.”